(Brian) Young, Wild & Free Part 2.

It happened during summer time that I was attending daily evening masses. On one of such occasions, I noticed this young boy who was sitting close to the priest on the altar (he was a mass server) gazing at me with a smile on his face. I felt really uneasy and did overlook it and thought maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. 

Days later, mass had just ended and I was taking a walk home when this same boy; who had a very innocent face walked up to me with a very charming smile and introduced himself to me as Brian. Looking at him he was about few years older than I am. I was in a great mood so I said hello to him as well. After exchanging pleasantries, he offered to accompany me home and I declined but he insisted so I let him. 

During the walk home, he asked what class I was in and what I wanted to become in the future. He talked greatly about himself; his first JAMB score and how he passionately wants to be a Surgeon. I was wowed at his intelligence and maturity. He seemed really smart and what started off as two strangers without a sense of direction strolling home, soon developed into something intense just from this meeting. 

Days turned into weeks and weeks to months and our friendship waxed stronger. During this time, he travelled to a different State to write his Jamb and he wrote me series of letters some of which I still have till date. In these letters, he talked about how he valued our friendship and how he missed me and couldn’t wait to share some big news with me when he returned. 

About two months later he returned and I was really excited to see him. He got me gifts, my first roses and cards and he eagerly told me how long he’s kept this, that he’s in love with me and would want me to be his girl. He was so sweet and kind, and I was so blown away. You can guess I was very happy and said yes; who would refuse such a gentleman? You would think he was the perfect man and this was the beginning of something beautiful but hey you thought wrong, this day was the beginning of my woes. 

So now we were officially in a relationship and Brian kept inviting me to his house and he went on about how his family couldn’t wait to meet me. Wait ! I was barely 16 what will I tell my parents? I wouldn’t dare mention Brian to my parents or any of my sibling so I kept avoiding him and didn’t show up for his invitation. The only place we met was in church and my study group; he was one of the tutors. 

We kinda started growing apart because he kept on bringing the visitation issue and I always avoided the topic and as a result I started to avoid him. This opened my eyes to his flirting and amorous ways. He started hanging around with some girls and would pass me without even a hello. I will feel really bad and cry myself to sleep on those days. One day, one of these girls he frequently hangs around with walked up to me and told me that Brian was her man and that I should leave him or else she was going to deal with me. Ah small girl like me already having man troubles? She looked like a bully and I knew she meant every word. I was scared to death and couldn’t wait to see Brian so I can confront him. I didn’t say a thing to this girl but I was deeply upset. 

When I finally saw Brian I confronted him and he apologize for her behavior and said that she was a jealous and clingy ex he also added that because I couldn’t be there for him and make him feel like a man so this happened. I couldn’t even read between the lines, but do you blame me? I was young and naive and nothing had prepared me for anything like this. My parents were majorly concerned about my studies and how I should make them proud and no single talks about boys except when they’ll say I could get pregnant by just talking to a boy. 

We did make up and in the spirit of the reunion we fixed an appointment for after church. It was our date day and  I had gone out to take a pee in a nearby bush path when I noticed someone walking stealthily up to me I was scared at first but when I looked out and saw it was a familiar face all fears disappeared. I felt safe but this would soon disappear in minutes. Before I knew what was happening he came closer and told me I looked so beautiful and started caressing me. I was scared and I told him to stop but he kept on touching me in different places and even if I had screamed nobody will hear me so I was doomed anyway, so I resorted to pleading to his reasoning. Instead of this to calm him down he became forceful and violent and we struggled for a while; he overpowered me, pushed me down and had his way. When he was finished he stood up and immediately went on his knees begging that he didn’t mean to hurt me and that I should forgive him because it was the devil. 

It took awhile for me to wrap my head around what just happened to me. Oh my God I’ve been raped by someone I loved with all my heart. I was so heartbroken and couldn’t eat or talk to anyone for days. My parents were out of town and when my siblings who noticed my silence asked what was wrong I told them I was sick. 

It’s been ages now and it was a very difficult thing to do but I choose to forgive him but I will never forget that day; the day that my life changed forever. 

PS:

This is for every female out there who had been sexually molested and raped. For the voiceless, for those who live with the perpetrators of this act. You have the power within you. You can choose to speak up and stop the silence culture. 

Young, Wild and Free!

I had just graduated high school, I had the world at the snap of my fingers, or so I thought! 

I was in my prime, I was beautiful, intelligent and very attractive. Many men were interested in me but I did not know what to do with this attention. 

Brian was a high school graduate who was writing jamb. He wanted to be a Surgeon . He was the love of my life or so I thought.  I was soon to find out that he was nothing but a rapist and a monster; one controlled by nothing but the thing in between his legs. And he took away my virginity at the back of the church without a care in the world. This relationship ended in tears, heartbreak and a shattered dream.

Kene was far older than me and he had just finished his university studies and was already doing his NYSC. I was 18 at this time and was doing a pre degree course to be a medical doctor. This was because my parents felt I was too young to write jamb at 16. So I did one at 17 and started this course at 18. Kene loved me with a fierce and possessive kind of love and soon into the relationship I was looking for the fastest exit route. He helped me procure my first abortion and I didn’t even know who the father was. It was more like pregnancy without penetration, is that even possible? 

I did say yes to Tochi who was hitting on me despite being a close friend of Brian. I agreed to be his woman for the sole purpose of spitting Brian and to send Kene packing. I had entered this relationship with the wrong intention  but soon I was head over heels in love with him and gave him my heart and soul without reservation. Apart from being a young and bright medical student, he was also dangerously handsome, coy and a great conversationalist. He had this air of confidence around him. Soon we started doing  alcohol and drugs together.  You might be thinking how it ended, yeah, you guessed right! This one also scrambled like a pack of cards. 

Want to know the full story of how the relationship with these guys were and how it ended? 

Stay glued to my blog because I’ll be releasing a part for each of them. 

P.S: This is purely fiction. 

In Memory of Eve Itiaba Inwang

As I go back in time to 20th May 2005. It was just like that every other day. I was in SS2, Meg and Eve were in JS2 same school. 

Meg and I were in school that morning  while Eve who was the class prefect of her class; a very beautiful and the smartest 11 years old kid I know who was also a member of the Red Cross Society went for an event outside school. She was the flag bearer and it was important for her to be at the event. This was her first event outside town. 

My dad didn’t want her to go. The leaders and I convinced him that she’ll be fine and I volunteered to go with her; I did this because I felt she needed the exposure and he agreed reluctantly.  But  considering the fact that she was going with her guardian; who promised to take care of her and we had a test in school that morning I couldn’t go with her and that was the last time I ever saw her alive. 

I went to school in the evening for compound work/sport and I was rushing home so I could meet Eve up so she could gist me how her day went. 

As I walked home from school I saw that other persons were back and I hastened my steps to get back home. When I got to my street people were looking at me with sorrowful eyes. Some even called me to greet me while others murmured that I didn’t know what was happening. 

I got to my house and saw quite a crowd and people were crying. Only for me to enter the house through the back door and my greatest fear was affirmed. 

My sister was dead. I met my dad and siblings crying and I couldn’t still believe it was real until I saw her lifeless body which was without a scar..

We were later told there was a fight where they had the event and that in order to keep the young ones safe they had to put them in a bike and she fell from the bike and died of internal bleeding because there was no one to take her to the hospital. I still remember everything clearly.

Damn!!! it’s been 15 years and it doesn’t make it any better! I see her in my dream every now and then. Some days are good and others bad . I don’t think I’ll ever forget her. I still feel guilt every time I remember this and I’ve been thinking of what I could’ve done differently. Maybe if I didn’t convince my dad to let her go with them she’ll still be here. I think I failed her because I was supposed to protect her I was supposed to go with her if not for the test. This and many other thoughts run through my mind as I remember her today which marks 15 years of her death; what she could’ve been and what she would’ve achieved. She wanted to be a model and a doctor and I’m sure she would’ve been a good one. The days and early years after her death was the most difficult for me as I had to learn how live without her because she was with me everywhere I went. It’s not been easy but I’ve been able to make a few new memories and also wishing she was here with us. Nothing I can do that will bring her back and there’s nothing that can be compared with the pain of loosing a sister at such a young age. I can’t bring her  back but I’ll always remember her. 

May the soul of Eve Itiaba Inwang and the soul of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen 🙏